The Best Oral Of Her Life

Why Slowing Down is the Real Key to Her Most Explosive Orgasm.

Men, are you ready? Prepare to deliver the best oral… of her life. Unless you already know, in which case: collect your "best oral of the year" award here. Awesome. This is for everyone else.

I saw a client the other day who reminded me that not everyone knows how to perform oral on women with that extra oomph. So, I decided to share the delights.

Communication: The First Step

Here’s my usual disclaimer: everyone is different and not all "sexy buttons" are the same for us all. For example, most women prefer their clitoris stimulated directly—that is, underneath the hood. However, for some, this is too much stimulation, and for a minority, it can be painful.

The key is to ask her first. Communication is step one to giving the best oral—ask her what does and what doesn't work for her. If after reading this month’s column you have a few extra ideas, ask her, "Do you want to try…?" as part of this chat. She can always say "no," and that’s okay.

Start With the Lips

The best oral often starts on the lips. WAIT… not those lips. The lips on her face. A woman often starts getting wet when you kiss her lips, gently touch her face, and give sweet little pecks on her cheek. Slowly, nice and slowly, work your tongue into the kiss, too—if she likes that.

Starting without the French kissing is often a good way to warm each other up. Less is more; it is often sexier to have a nice, steady build-up rather than going straight in.

The Importance of Foreplay

Isn't it interesting that I am describing the foreplay of the kiss—which also applies to foreplay before sexual intercourse? When you go straight in, it doesn't give time for:

1. Adequate stimulation resulting in wetness.

2. Adequate stimulation resulting in increased blood flow.

3. Adequate stimulation resulting in a heightened nervous system response.

All the above equals increased pleasure. Excuse the list—I hate lists. But the technical process is kind of cool when you think about it. A process is called such because it requires steps to make it work. The result, which is what we are really interested in, is increased sensitivity, which causes increased pleasure, which means… a much better orgasm. She’ll love you for it.

Finding Her Rhythm

So, you are building up slowly. You are kissing, you are moving, flowing, caressing her neck, stroking her breasts (if she likes that), moving, moving, moving… your touch will be slow, sensual, wet.

When it feels right and you have both enjoyed a mutual petting session—when she indicates that she really wants you to adore her pleasure center and invites you to worship her—this is where top tips might be useful.

Use your tongue in different motions and see what works best: upward licks, side-to-side, and circular combinations can work wonders. Her moans or body language might give you tips on what is working for her. The upward motion is often really useful in helping you to find the clitoris if she is a new partner or if you have been having problems.

Oh, ladies—every body is different, and putting men under pressure to "just find it" is not helpful. Anatomy can be radically different between bodies, so give him a hint or two. Thanks.

Anatomy: A Quick Note

The clitoris is often right at the top of the vaginal opening, under the hood that covers the top of the opening and between the top of the lips. The hood varies in size between women. A common mistake some men make is thinking all women have the same anatomy. Seriously, don’t laugh if you aren't one of these men, and ladies, please give a dude a break—he’s probably doing the best he can.

Some of my clients have only had one partner, maybe two. When they have a new girlfriend or a one-night stand, they often fall foul of not knowing this. They come to me and say, "It worked for my last girlfriend…" Well, it ain’t working for this one! So, let’s give you a variety of tools.

The Next Level: Exploration

So, you have licked up, side-to-side, and circular on the clit. You approached this slowly, gently kissing her thighs, vaginal lips, and the hood, and you have ascertained she loves the movement. Now, after quite some time, and when she indicates, you can slip a finger or two in—if she likes that.

Some women prefer just to receive tongue, mouth, and suction. Some like to have some form of penetration, too. I personally see this as awesome. We are all different, and the process of finding out what your partner likes is as fun as you make it.

If she does like the finger, the G-spot is, again, slightly different for every woman, but generally, it is 1.5–3 inches inside the vagina, on the front wall—kind of underneath and parallel with the pubic bone. However… and do not panic… it is very different for everyone, and the only way to find it is to explore.

Let that fill you with relief, not fear. Let me repeat: it is different for every woman, as is the placement of the clitoris and the means of stimulation. So, ladies, please give your guy a break and stop putting him under pressure to know your body straight away. Guide him. Men, ask to be guided—it’s okay—and watch, listen, and observe how she moves, how she breathes, and what she says as you are exploring her pleasure centers.

Do take a look at diagrams of female anatomy and look at some of the research. Some scientists and medical practitioners dispute the physical presence of the female G-spot. I dispute their dispute. Wherever it is, and however it is best played with and stimulated for your partner, is all that matters.

Have fun in your exploration and give her the best oral of her life. That might not happen on the first time—that’s kind of the point, really. Explore, explore, explore until you get a result.

With Love,

The London Sex Coach Xxx