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... about Misandry. I’m a therapist, and I’m seeing a pattern I can no longer ignore: a sharp, painful increase in men coming into my office as strangers to themselves. They are confused about who they are, and more importantly, they are losing the confidence to express it. We need to talk about misandry. The Forbidden Vocabulary You’d be forgiven for not knowing that word. I didn’t know it myself until a few weeks ago. I went hunting for a definition because of the recurring

OMG, what has the world come to? A sex coach telling you to stop having sex?! I know, I know—but stay with me. This is the advice I give to many couples who come to me when they are navigating major issues in their sex lives. When I say "major," I mean they feel they’ve "tried everything" (they often haven’t), and at least one of them is so damn frustrated that they actually dread the next time sex is initiated. See the problem? The Pressure to Perform I have lost count of th

Why Slowing Down is the Real Key to Her Most Explosive Orgasm. Men, are you ready? Prepare to deliver the best oral… of her life. Unless you already know, in which case: collect your "best oral of the year" award here. Awesome. This is for everyone else. I saw a client the other day who reminded me that not everyone knows how to perform oral on women with that extra oomph. So, I decided to share the delights. Communication: The First Step Here’s my usual disclaimer: everyone

Once upon a time, I was straddling a man, as you do. We were both naked, oiled-up, and breathless. I was working as a sexual masseur—a world where body-to-body contact, kink, and exploration are part of the daily grind. But in the middle of that heat, I caught a glimpse of something else in his eyes: profound sadness. He stared at me, his unspoken question hanging in the air. "What is it?" I asked. "I wish I could do that," he whispered. "Do what?" I asked, briefly wondering

Why Your Identity Doesn't Have to Be Stagnant I am writing this to clear something up. I am not necessarily doing it to clear it up for you; I am clearing it up for me. Out loud. In public. In full view. It’s how I do things. When you look at my process in this way, it might—just might—subliminally give you "permission" to be you. That’s what it’s all about. Being the real, true, authentic, beautiful you. Let’s Talk About Sex I’m gay. I am not gay. I am more bisexual. Often,

Once upon a time, I would feel chaotic, lost, all over the place. Much of this confusion would be triggered and exacerbated by friends' (or foes') judgment and attitude towards my, apparent, multiple personalities. I remember conducting a workshop on healing and "being aware of energy flow" in Manchester, around 2004. A close friend of mine was in the audience; he glared at me with an undisguised look of shock. As the workshop progressed, he began to relax and started having

The Truth About Semen Retention: Why You Should Probably Just Have a Wank I recently watched a YouTube video by a guy "teaching" men how to "retain semen" using some supposed Yogic practice to "redirect the energy through your chakras and up out of the head"—blah, blah, blah. He was teaching the wrong way to do it, which is dangerous. Even worse, he had no idea that for most men, ejaculation is a vital part of physical and psychological health. He presented it in such an expe